#below her mouth 2016

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  steddieas_shegoes! @steddieas-shegoes has 382 fics in the Stranger Things fandom on AO3 and 355 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@starryeyedjanai recommends the following works by @steddieas-shegoes:

call me sunshine, send me to space

we'd shake the frame of your car

this place is such great motivation for anyone trying to move the fuck away from hibernation

driver roll up the partition please

"Mickala is a PILLAR in this fandom. She's doing microfics, she's doing multiple month-long challenges at the same time, she's writing a big bang that I am frothing at the mouth over reading soon. She's doing it ALL!!!! She's written an absurd amount of words in such a short amount of time and I am just in awe of her 💕💕💕" -- @starryeyedjanai

Below the cut, @steddieas-shegoes answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Because my love for Steve Harrington could no longer be contained, and neither could Eddie’s. Because have you seen those two? Look at them. Keep looking at them. They’re so!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

This list is longer than any of us have the time to read, but I will say that enemies to lovers or exes to lovers has been hitting the spot hard lately. I’m also a sucker for a good modern au, like texting the wrong number or rockstar Eddie and otherwise famous Steve.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

At the heart of everything I write, they’re stupid in love. Whether they know it or not, whether they say it or not, they are. I think my favorite tag to use is idiots to lovers or idiots in love because it’s true. They’re just dumb for each other and it’s so fun to write from every angle.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Okay my absolute all time favorite fic of any fandom I have ever read anything in is Tuesday's Gone With the Wind - Chapter 1 - thisapplepielife - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]. It changed me from the inside out. I think about this fic every single day, sometimes multiple times a day.  But I do also have to say my very, very close second would be start by pulling him out of the fire by pricklywhicket. There is no better Wayne fic, there could never be a better Wayne fic. If you love Wayne, and you love Eddie, and you love Steve, and you love Steddie, this is the fic to read.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I tend to avoid writing heavy angst of any kind, mostly because I tend to also avoid reading it unless it has a happy ending. But I have two things currently in my notes app that are very angsty, one of them would possibly have a more open/slightly unhappy ending, and I might be brave and do it. It’s the one area that I know I haven’t delved into.

What is your writing process like?

There’s a process? You guys are following a process? Oh shit, I didn’t know. But seriously, the process looks a lot like: *has idea *types what should be headcanon of said idea *headcanon becomes 2500 words of actual story *posts I really just go with the flow. I don’t edit 90% of the time, I don’t have a beta reader (except for my bang fic), I rarely even go in with a full-fledged plan. Whatever happens, happens.

Do you have any writing quirks?

If I write Steve with a migraine in something, it usually means I was suffering from a migraine at the time. I almost always give him similar symptoms to mine, though I usually dramatize them a little for the hurt/comfort of it all. They say write what you know and boy do I know migraines.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I have only written a handful of chaptered fics, and I tried to follow as much of a schedule as I could, but I don’t. I get too excited and I end up just posting as soon as something is finished.

Which fic are you most proud of?

This is a hard one. I am proud that I ever even posted the first thing I did. This was the first fandom I ever published anything in, and I was pretty nervous about sharing something I wrote in a rush on my notes app. But I think I’m most proud of call me sunshine, send me to space. It challenged me to take this one on, and while I know I probably wouldn’t write it the same if I were to write it now, I know that it will always be there as proof of how far you can come if you keep doing the thing.

How did you get the idea for call me sunshine, send me to space?

Uh…personal experience? I was getting a small tattoo and had my usual reaction and then went home and said to myself ���Steve would end up in a situation about this” and then I wrote the situation. Which is actually how so much of my works start.

When writing call me sunshine, send me to space, what was something you didn’t expect?

The amount of love it’s gotten! It was still kind of my early days of posting on AO3 and I had only just started really interacting on tumblr, so it shocked me how quickly people started commenting and asking to be on the tag list. That fic is what “put me on the map” I guess, and is definitely responsible for all of the friendships I’ve made in the last year.

What inspired this place is such great motivation for anyone trying to move the fuck away from hibernation?

A silly little headcanon I posted that got way out of hand in my thoughts and then on paper. We tend to lean more towards the single dad Steve thing, especially myself, but then I completely ran with the single dad Eddie thing, and a whole fic came out of it.

What was your favorite part to write from this place is such great motivation for anyone trying to move the fuck away from hibernation?

This fic was my worst enemy for months. I was so busy in real life that I felt like I wasn’t able to give it the attention it deserved. I had a few favorite parts, but I think the first time Mia calls Steve ‘Mama’ is up there for sure. It kinda sets the tone for the whole fic that Steve is meant to be in their lives and this baby knows it before the rest of them.

How do/did you feel writing we'd shake the frame of your car?

Honestly, I was just trying to stick to as much of the prompts as possible. Since it was a gift for Sandy, I wanted to make sure it was the best gift I could give!

What was the most difficult part of writing driver roll up the partition please?

Keeping it on the shorter side! If it were up to me, ficlets like that would be 20k minimum, but because it was for an event and I tend to take on more than I can actually handle, it had to stay short.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I have a lot of lines that I really love that I am always in awe that I managed to write. But I think I am most excited about the scene in my upcoming bang fic, the scene that came to me before anything else for this fic and inspired the whole thing.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

My bang fic bear hugs starts posting on September 27th. If you like hockey, single dad steve, and friends to lovers, this is THE fic for you. I also co-mod for steddie microfic, which is a monthly exact word count challenge with a new prompt and word count every month; I run Steddie Song Fics, a monthly writing challenge that changes every month with new songs, word count limits, genres, and more; I run Steddie Holiday Drabbles, which is a daily drabble event that takes place in December, with multiple pop-up events throughout the year; and if this posts in time, I am running Steddie Smutty September, an 18+ only event that will have weekly writing and art prompts for the month of September.    

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Thank you to whoever nominated me, and thank you to everyone who supports me and other authors by liking, commenting, reblogging, and recommending fics!

Thank you to our author, @steddieas-shegoes, and our nominator, @starryeyedjanai! See more of steddieas_shegoes's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[dessertpanda]

Her Healed Heart

Master List

(HELLOO this is a Leo x fem Reader/ Raph x fem Reader) (2012-2016 turtles in mind) Kinda angst, but over all its happy! (kinda) Anyways, warnings: Fighting (Physical), Yelling, crying, cursing

        Raph sat panting and grunting with each fist he threw at the dummy hanging in the dojo. He was so concentrated that he failed to see the girl slip in with a tray of snacks and a water bottle. Y/N took a seat in the corner of the dojo, not wanting to interrupt his concentration. She watched in awe as his muscles flexed with each punch and beads of sweat dripped down his shell and onto the mats below. She could see his mind racing, replaying past fights, moments where his family was in danger, April, Mikey, Donnie... and unbeknownst to her, the memory that got his blood boiling, was when he had to watch her dangle from the hands of Shredder. It enraged him, the fact that he was too weak to protect her, watcher her fall 5 stories, until his idiot leader of a brother swept in and saved the day.  Lost in his little world, his punches got more aggressive, sloppier, and deadly. Scaring both, the dummy was sent flying into the tree that had grown from the grounds of the sewers. "AGH" He screamed in frustration, eyes locked on the dummy that was now embedded into the tree. "stupid fucken Le..." He bit his tongue the second he saw her sitting there. "Y/N?" His was flushed, due to both his breathlessness and the fact that she had caught him in such an outbreak.

There she sat, her eyes refusing to leave the placement of the dummy, "Amazing" she mumbled marveling at his sheer strength. Her eyes held nothing but admiration. She let out a soft eep when she finally met his eyes, "Sorry... I brought you a snack" She smiled at him, gesturing to the tray next to her. "You've been in here for hours, and you need to keep hydrated!"

He only continued to stare at her, allowing his brain to process what was happening. "uh Right," He quickly sat down in front of her, eyes refusing to leave the tray. "Sorry, for not noticing you earlier" He whispered before moving to bring the food to his lap.

"It's fine!" She smiled, watching him as he brought the half sandwich to his mouth. "It's spicy tuna with chili paste spread on the bread.... I know you like it spicy" Raph could feel his face heat up slightly, she had remembered his favorite food, the exact way he liked his sandwich, and she had noticed that he hadn't left the dojo all morning. "Oh and a new bandanna, thought you might want to change your sweaty one" And she knew how much he hated the feeling of a wet bandanna, it was the only thing he hated about training. With a small blush, he extended his hand and gently took it from her small hands. Gently running his fingers over the fabric, still slowly chewing. With a thick swallow, he returned his gaze to her.

"You like me or something doll?" He half-jokes, half-praying she did. He watched as her face began to turn a shade of pink, softer on her skin tone than when it appeared on his. He adored everything about her, from her soft y/e/c, to her delicate nose, and the shade of lip gloss she wore. Oh, how he envied it, to be allowed to sit on her lips all day and be complimented for it.

"Raph... what... how.. no wait" She waved her hands around, trying to clear her thoughts for a second... "Have you ever thought about getting into a relationship?" He raised his head and quirked an eyebrow at her question.

"I guess.... never really thought that it would be an option for me..." He huffed, setting the empty tray back on the floor before crossing his arms. "I mean, I'm a giant mutant turtle with anger issues... nobody's ever, really wanted that I guess" His mind was now reeling with all his insecurity... ones he's kept buried deep within the wall of his emotions, set to never be let out. But yet, she had broken it down so easily. It was as if he wanted to be vulnerable with her, he wanted her to know every little detail about him. "I mean, I have this cold scaly skin that's fucken green, I have anger issues that always end up with me wanting to hurt someone..."

"I like your green skin, it's cool and feels nice when you rub against it... I like your temper... it shows how much you care for your family and friends" She leaned ever so closer to him, allowing the heat from her skin to clash with his cool temperature. "If you didn't... I'd think you'd be okay with letting your family be harmed, but you're always the first to protect them" She gently reached for the top of his hand, but pulled back when she got too close, "You haven't been loved properly by another person... because of how your family was treated in the past..." with a huff she looked up into his bright green eyes. "I-I'd like to be that person..." There she had done it. She had confessed and now with her heart in her throat, she waited... and waited... and waited...

While her hope was dwindling fast, Raph's mind was speeding up.... She had liked him back, like actually wanted to be with him, he couldn't believe it. Was the universe testing him? Was he allowed to accept something so selfish? to take her away from a man of her own breed? He was struggling, his mind at battle with his heart, and oh so badly did he want his heart to win. "I...I uh"

"I-it's Okay Raph, I understand if you don't... feel the same." She held a soft smile, but yet a world of pain surrounded her.  "I-I'm sure you prefer a girl like April! Pretty, in shape, feminine" She sighed.  Her words snapped him out of his daze, hearing her talk in such a way broke his heart.

"Wait! No no no... I don't find you attractive... No wait Fuck!" He messed up, to miss such a crucial word. He thought she was beautiful, and Angle sent as a gift for him... and yet his chance was here but he screwed it up. "Y/N listen I meant" He tried to rectify his misspelled words but she only stood, facing away from him.

"I-It's okay Raph..." She had tears flowing down her cheeks, but her smile was still bright. "I mean... you're a super hero" She laughed running a hand through her hair. "I can understand your higher standards" His heart dropped, and she smiled while accepting his accidental rejection. He couldn't let her walk away, not like this.

"Y/N wait please!" He tried to get up as fast as he could but struggled with his shell hitting the wall. How could he be so stupid, quite possibly the only girl he'd ever meet who found him attractive.... and he's made her cry. "Please, stop" He made up his ground and quickly grabbed her arm before she could walk out of the Dojo... "I do... I uh" 'Damn it Raph come on!' he screamed in his own head.

"Raph... Please don't feel obligated to return my feelings simply because I'm crying" She glanced down at his hand that firmly grasped her wrist. Her eyes were bright red and her face stained with tears, fresh ones replacing them by the second.  "I... I can take a rejection Raph... but please don't make it worse"

"Please Y/N just look at me please, Let me find my words" He squeezed the slightest bit tighter, still making sure her wrist was unharmed.

"Raph... I accept your rejection... I understand Okay?" Her tone was a little harsher, proof that her heart was indeed broken... Raph quickly moved his hand to her shoulder, allowing him to turn her around to face him, but he never got the chance to. As he began to gently tug on her shoulder, another green hand was placed on her other, keeping her from moving. Eyes looking up from Y/N, he was met with electric blue eyes staring back at him.

"Raphael... You've done enough" The beautiful leader in blue, his older brother, his greatest competition... Leonardo. Of course, where Y/N was Leo wasn't that far behind, they were best friends... enjoyed the same shows, the same foods, same color... but yet she stood there confessing to Raph...'And not me' Leo's heart hurt at her tears... He knew of her feelings for his hot-headed younger brother... and it hurt him every time she spoke so fondly of him. "I'm assuming she confessed?" With quick hands and a gentle tug, Y/N was settled into his chest, comfort, and safety.

"Get lost Leo... this doesn't involve you" Raph was angry now, how dare Leo stick his damn nose into his business.

"It does when My best friend is in tears..." He growled, moving softly to pick Y/N up princess style.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO" Raph roared. So many emotions running through him, anger, embarrassment, regret, love... but yet he couldn't decide which one to allow to take control. However, he didn't get another word out because Leo was already long gone.

(Mini Time Skip)

Raph sat pacing the Dojo...he hadn't left... not after seeing Leo run off with you like that. He grumbled and huffed, he needed to fix this.... for once he had the chance to get the girl. And he'd be damned if he didn't try.

"Her favorite flowers are Gerbera diasy... she likes them because they remind her of you..." With a sharp turn, Raph was face to face with Leo once again... "I convinced her to come back here in like 30 minutes... prep for it" That was all he had to say, he left shortly after... 'He helped me' Raph was thankful for his brother's intel, of course, he did, he wanted them to be happy.

(Another Time Skip)

Raph sat at the kitchen table, white Gerbera diasys in hand and a nervous look on his face. "You got this... You got this" He tried to hype himself up, paper with the words he wanted to say squeezed tightly within his hand in case he got tongue-tied again. He was physically shaking... and it only got worse when her light footsteps caught his ears. "Y/N" He whispered out as she walked through the kitchen entrance.  He didn't miss the way her eyes narrowed, still red from her crying.

"Raph I" She tried to speak but he had the courage to he had to speak now.

“Y/n… I’m sorry for* with hands dragging down his face, how could he have messed up so bad, “Please, that time in the Dojo... I messed up! I couldn’t find my words” He gently lifted her chin. However, her eyes remained narrowed. "I can't give up.... not when I'm this close to getting the girl" He gently held out the flowers. "I... I like you Y/N so much" he watched as her face slowly began to lighten... "Y-You.. Ugh, You left me awestruck dammit! To think a girl like you wants me!" He was out of breath... panting in the still room as she continued to stare at him. A small smirk slowly took the place of her frown... reaching for his hand, she held it tightly within her own.

"Was that so hard?" Her voice was snarky, but yet it was music to his ears.

"Yeah actually... it was" He huffed before bringing her close, holding her close to his chest. Staring down into her eyes... "But I'll never have to do it again so I'm happy" He laid a gentle kiss on her forehead, allowing his lips to linger... enjoying the touch and smell of her hair on his nose.

'Perfect... she's happy and that's all that matters' There in the corner, Leo stood. The fearless leader never showed sadness, but he allowed the tears to flow... Within the clasp of his hands were her true favorite flowers, Red Gerbera Diasys... Not white, Red. 'Their fiery color reminds her of you... Idiot' He silently scolded his brother from within his mind. He was gonna make a move, had a plan all set but instead he chose to watch. Watch as Raph gets the girl, watch as his only chance goes out the window... He watches as her heart is healed, and no matter how badly it hurts, how much he'd cry seeing them together... However many pieces it took for his heart to break into, as long as she stayed whole, he was satisfied. 'Be happy... I'll always be here when you need me' With that, he walked away unnoticed, and with a dissension, he'd regret for a lifetime.

(Okay... Leo is my favorite so it kinda hurt making this But ugh, felt like i had too. HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!!!! I'LL CATCH YOU ALL LATER )

Thank you all for the support and love!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY AND REMEMBER TO EAT, DRINK, AND LOVE YOURSELF BYEEEEEE LOVE YOU ALL

[carlos-in-glasses]

Writing Patterns

Thank you for the tag @lemonlyman-dotcom and @tellmegoodbye - 💛

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns! Cig's note: This isn't a rule but I've added a little 'read if you're in the mood for...' to each.

Keep the Lights On - It’s attempt number three of trying to lean coolly against Carlos' car while they wait for Paul to appear after finishing his shift. (If you're in the mood for: season one idiots in love)

The Wonder of It (I wrote chapter 2) - TK wakes to the sound of the storm wheeling overhead. In high winds, this house has a rattle like pennies in a jar. (If you're in the mood for: Kidfic and how TK and Carlos come to decide they are ready to adopt).

I Was Thinking About Your Mouth - Birdsong stirs Carlos Reyes – but he doesn’t open his eyes as he tumbles unwillingly out of a dream in which he wanders the floral halls of his abuela’s home. He finds her in every room, always delighted to see him. (If you're in the mood for: Silly smut and friendship).

Search and Rescue - TK howls as thunder crashes and lightning fills the dark bedroom with a white-hot flare, for a wild second illuminating their bodies as they bounce up-and-down in the straddle position. (If you're in the mood for: Tarlos adopting a dog).

Where All This Love Comes From - Saturday December 10, 2016. TK Strand opens his eyes on the morning of his twenty-third birthday when nausea stabs like a spike in his gut. (If you're in the mood for: A married Tarlos novel with backstory depicting TK's addiction and Carlos' relationship with his dad).

You Can Leave Your Hat On - “I love our loft so much,” TK yells from the bedroom, midway through stuffing his feet into gray cable-weave slipper socks with white fleece lining and gummy grips on the sole. (If you're in the mood for: Stupidly hot sex on a cold night. Emphasis on stupid).

Suddenly, In the Silence - Andrea kisses them goodbye on the doorstep and wraps her mauve cardigan around herself a little tighter, peering up with a wince at the night sky. (If you're in the mood for: Spending a dark and stormy night with TK and Carlos. And Andrea. And Gabriel...?)

Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines - Ten minutes into writing a story about a talking horse, Carlos Reyes is approached by his teacher and informed that he’s allowed to use a ballpoint pen for his cursive. (If you're in the mood for: A 3x08 coda that contains backstory for Carlos' and TK's experiences of 9/11).

Release the Hand to Relax the Animal - It starts instantly and out of nowhere. (If you're in the mood for: TK and Carlos having tantric sex).

When Soulmates Swim - If I can make it to the chair, TK thinks, then I can make it to the door. (If you're in the mood for: TK and Carlos falling in love while swimming).

Patterns: I'm not sure! There's a couple where there is an initial focus around atmosphere and setting; others where it's more in the action; others where it's perhaps a bit mysterious. Why is TK in a bad way on his birthday? What starts instantly and out of nowhere? Why is TK trying to make it to a chair, then to the door, etc? Overall I think it's a bit of a mixed bag. I don't think you'd get from the opening of I Was Thinking About Your Mouth that it's a very silly fic!

Open tag and tags below!

@heartstringsduet @paperstorm @ladytessa74 @strandnreyes

@reyesstrand @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @orchidscript

@liminalmemories21 @literateowl @alrightbuckaroo

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @freneticfloetry @ironheartwriter

@emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @three-drink-amy

@bubblesandroses8 @fifthrideroftheapocalypse

@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @butchreyes

@pimento-playing-hopscotch @goodways @lightningboltreader

@bonheur-cafe @sugdenlovesdingle @honeybee-taskforce

@theghostofashton @chicgeekgirl89 @sanjuwrites

@never-blooms - no pressure ever! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

[dnpoll]

my personal explanations below the cut!

also i scheduled this poll and i realised i forgot ARIANA GRANDE that's deep lore... GOD

muse: one of the things that dan and phil bonded over when they met each other - phil's favourite artist with his streams making it dan's top artist from 2014-2016. they have also seen muse at least five times! dan has played muse songs several times on the piano (specifically sunburn) + they did a lip sync video to muse for bbc radio. also they made fun of kristen stewart a lot when they were younger (they have since apologised and called her an iconic) and she was in twilight and muse supermassive black hole is famously in twilight so...

final fantasy vii: the soundtrack with interrupted by fireworks! dan said it reminded him of phil in a formspring answer <3 and that's all...

fall out boy: firstly "no but seriously imagine if:". secondly they have interviewed fob several times for the bbc! thirdly, specifically with pete wentz, he was dan's icon in his teenage years. he followed dan because of the interviews with him - he even prank called dan in call or delete. but as punishment in a best friend quiz video, phil tweeted "sometimes i dream about being one of the reindeer galloping through the sky with leather straps tying me to my friends mm yes carrots please" from dan's account - and pete wentz unfollowed fob. i am also convinced they think the milk fic is a petekey fic or something

the 1975: dan and phil called into the radio as fans when they were not hosting and the 1975 was there! dan said he was there with "his friend phil" and matty healy immediately recognised them as "dan and phil from the radio" despite them trying to be sneaky about it. dan also LOVED a brief inquiry into online relationships which he posted on his story and said he was "personally attacked by literally every song on the album". mm okay

my chemical romance: firstly "no but seriously imagine if". secondly dan specifically was/is a huge fan of mcr - although phil did sing welcome to the black parade (incorrectly) in a yasuhati video). mcr was also referenced in dan and anthony padilla's stop emo hate video, basically i'm gay and the dream daddy series, just to name a few (they g note a LOT). also hesitant alien featured in the tour of dan's brain video! gerard used to follow dan on twitter but doesn't anymore... beef?

panic! at the disco: firstly "no but seriously imagine if". also brendon and ryan are in the milk fic which they constantly reference. also there's a dnp edit with 57k views to house of memories

frank ocean: dan's top song in 2012 was "thinkin about you" by frank ocean which ppl talk abt a lot for many reasons. he also said his religion was frank ocean in 2016 LOL

troye sivan: YOUTUBE FRIENDS LOL - the iconic pic with dan, phil, troye and tyler! also dan and phil were the first people to play troye sivan's happy little pill on the radio, and are thus partially responsible for his success. troye sivan also led to chappell roan's success, so basically muse is responsible for chappell roan. troye also featured in a phil glasses video!

one direction: firstly, dnp interviewed them - a harrowing event that they outline in detail in tabinof. secondly, the iconic dan eating an orange picture behind a 1d concert. lastly, they talk about harry styles quite a bit - phil posed as him in a viewers pick my outfit, and of course the rotisserie chicken situation

nick jonas: hey buddy you in london #dick

smash mouth: more recent dan-based lore but mark (tour member) made an instagram story asking how to get all-star licensed. a phannie (royalsdnp on twt) then tweeted about it, and smash mouth (the twt account) saw it. dan then tweeted at the account asking for it, and it worked! smash mouth is now an official dannie, having tweeted orange for wad, and also offered the original demo for shrek to be used, saying it can maybe be for dan's next special. generally insane because dan has ofc always been a huge shrek fan as a part of his meme personality in the 2010s, even dressing up as him for a calendar

[thisqueerlove]

Happy Women's History Month!

Here's a list of films about Queer Women! 🏳️‍🌈

For every list I post there's always more films out there, Letterbox'd is a great place to find movies.

(This was supposed to be up yesterday for International Women's Day but I've been sick for while and don't know what day it is ✌🏼)

•

Desert Hearts (1985)

The Women Of Brewster Place (1989)

When Night Is Falling (1995)

Fire (1996)

Bound (1996)

Set it Off (1996)

The Watermelon Woman (1996)

But I'm A Cheerleader (1999)

Mulholland Drive (2001)

Saving Face (2004)

Fingersmith (2005)

Imagine Me & You (2009)

Black Swan (2010)

Cloudburst (2011)

With Every Heartbeat (2011)

Pariah (2011)

The Guest House (2012)

Stud Life (2012)

Liz In September (2014)

Carol (2015)

La Belle Saison (2015)

The Girl King (2015)

Bessie (2015)

Lovesong (2016)

AWOL (2016)

Our Love Story (2016)

Below Her Mouth (2016)

The Handmaiden (2016)

Carmilla (2017)

The Feels (2017)

Disobedience (2017)

Professor Marston And The Wonder Women (2017)

Princess Cyd (2017)

The Favourite (2018)

Duck Butter (2018)

Tell It To The Bees (2018)

Vita & Virginia (2018)

Rafiki (2018)

Hearts Beat Loud (2018)

The Miseducation Of Cameron Post (2018)

Portrait Of A Lady On Fire (2019)

Elisa & Marcella (2019)

Booksmart (2019)

The World To Come (2020)

The Half Of It (2020)

My First Summer (2020)

Ammonite (2020)

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (2020)

Fear Street Part One (2021)

Fear Street Part Three (2021)

Do Revenge (2022)

Beauty (2022)

[vcstasy]

and…⠀♫⠀WHO do you work for, again?

The core four of JAGUAR’s main creative team (presently headed, of course, mainly by creative director Choi Eunhee)—that being their two main producers, their head stylist, and main choreographer—consists of Seol Daejin, Kwak Joosun, Son Sebin, and finally Yoon ‘Vicki’ Miryung. Both Joosun and Sebin have been with the company since 2012, the year of YOON’s debut, despite their ages (19 and 18, respectively). Miryung came on four years later, in 2016, shortly before JUST4U’s disbandment and after then-soloist Daejin’s debut date under SM Entertainment. He only lasted three years before going back to his producer roots and leaving for JAGUAR in 2019—the same year former ALGORYHTHM members Jalen and Haeil did the same—and completing the team most know today.

Seeing as it took them a good seven years to be brought together, and there’s a smaller gap of three years between JUST4U’s debut and Joosun and Sebin’s arrivals, a few people have asked the question of this: Who was doing it all before them? And, the answer is simply that no one knows, except from maybe a few of the main executives and the people themselves. The first few years of JUST4U’s discography are largely uncredited production, composition, and arrangement wise, and the only names that get mentioned are Yeseul’s and Insu’s themselves—they took on the lyrics themselves most of the time, and on a few occasions contributed to the production process also. These ghost producers are likely due to the fact that JAGUAR, in 2009, was still very new in the idol scene (only two years into it after jumping ship from the PR business in 2007). Quick payments for releases most likely seemed easier than spending the time building a dedicated team from the ground up—which is also likely why Joosun and Sebin were hired so young and so early into their careers.

They’ve all grown alongside the artists, and have all grown particularly close to CHERRYADE over the months they’ve spent working with them. Below is an overview on each.

Dead-eyed, perpetually bored, and at times too dry for his own good, people usually avoid making conversation with Joosun at all opportunities possible. And sure, he’s only really there to do his job, but making nice while doing so has never been something he’d be opposed to. He actually thinks he can be pretty funny when you get to know him. Not that many ever make it to that stage.

Joosun never wanted to be in the spotlight. All Joosun ever wanted in the music world was to be used as what he believed he was: an asset. A cog in the machine, sure—but an essential one. Something that things just wouldn’t feel right running without. He grew up the primary caretaker for his three younger siblings while his mother racked up credit card debt and his father lay in ashes, sealed in a columbarium that he never bothered to visit on any separate occasions other than the day they went to put him there, and if you asked him he’d tell you that was where the need to be needed came from.

Others may say they were drawn to music as a child and that was why they chose to pursue it, but Joosun never really found the time for that. The most he interacted with music as a child was through the radio and when he was making up tunes on his youngest sister’s toy piano for her entertainment. He wasn’t an experienced musician—much less an experienced producer—in the slightest by the time he was desperately searching for jobs of all kinds, and the only reason JAGUAR took him on in the first place is because they’d come to the realisation that they couldn’t keep hiring no-names to make music for them and then keep their mouths shut about it. Joosun called it mutual desperation, Seungdae called him a ‘baby bird they could nurture.’ The man had been weird since the day they met.

He learned on the job, and his first few mixes were nothing short of abysmal. It took a lot of overtime and a lot of begging for lessons from his newfound contacts in an industry he knew next to nothing about to get him on track to becoming the artist he is now, and he’s thankful he’s managed to dig out a space for himself in the music world. If he could give his sound a colour, it would be red—a deep, dark, wine shade. Mature, promiscuous, dark, at times. But it’s less of a case of that being all he knows (he experimented with just about everything on his journey to find what really fit him) and more a case of that being what’s his. He’s best at it, he flourishes within it, and he knows his way around it even with his eyes closed. It’s glaringly obvious whenever you’re listening to anything Joosun, and that’s just the way he likes it.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀KWAK JOOSUN  ( 곽주선. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀FEBRUARY 17,  1993

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀PRODUCER

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀CHOI WONBIN

Accommodating but no-nonsense, Daejin is always considered the kinder of the two producers. He always has a few words of encouragement even if on the inside he thinks you’re awful, always delivers any criticism he does deem nice enough to say out loud with a sweet smile and little motivational fist-pump, and never fails to get at least one smile out of whoever’s he’s worked with that day. His own dreams of being an idol might not have worked out, but as long as he can help others in their own careers he’s happy. 

A child of divorce, Daejin turned to music (and basketball) as a semi-coping mechanism to block out all the arguing before the split became official. The last he saw of his father was the month before his seventh birthday, sitting beside him on the balcony of their cramped flat with his legs dangling through the gaps in the railing while the man smoked through a pack and gave him some half-hearted life advice. Take care of your mother. Try and get along with your older brothers. Do something with your life. He did his best to follow along with it all, although the second was the hardest. Him and his oldest brother had next to nothing in common, constantly coming to blows, so for the most part he stuck to his older brother or kept to himself. They only became closer during the messy divorce period, while his parents were duking it out over custody and money. That was also where he really got into music, picking up both the guitar and the keyboard as things he could teach himself to keep himself busy when his mind was driving him crazier than usual.

He was never all that academically inclined, bunking off to shoot hoops or waste away the day’s hours in arcades for the majority of his school years—but his mother didn’t really care. She would’ve been more surprised if he was a perfect student, seeing as her two children before him were just as unwilling to show up to school. SM came about when he was thinking about what to do to make good on the ‘do something with your life’ part of his father’s advice. It was quite a rash decision, but it involved music, and if it went well he could safely say he had done something worthwhile (and, he would admit, he was looking forward to lording it over his brothers if it went well also). He didn’t tell any of his family until he got the confirmation that he’d passed his audition, and then off into trainee life he went. Daejin kept his head down and himself to himself during his two years of training, and was perfectly happy with his solo career as it went on—not just for the success it brought him and fun he was having with it, but also because along the way he got the chance to contribute to it more and more, until by 2018 he was fully self-written and self-produced.

The end of his idol career came about of his own volition. He felt he was content with what he’d produced, grateful for the people he’d met and things he’d accomplished, and simply wanted to step back and focus fully on the aspect he loved most: the production. JAGUAR was only his first choice because he’d been a fan of JUST4U growing up (he still has all their albums to this day), and when they accepted him he was packing his SM bags as quick as he could and happily leaving the idol life behind. It took a while to get through Joosun’s shell, but they’re thick as thieves now. He lives his life making music and having fun doing it, trying out all sorts of genres and sounds but always leaving them that little something that makes them truly his. Daejin’s sound doesn’t have one specific colour, as he likes to think it’s an explosion of every single one of them.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀SEOL DAEJIN  ( 설대진. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀MAY 27,  1998

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀PRODUCER

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀MOON SANGMIN

DISCOGRAPHY (2016–18)

JUL 2016⠀CALL YOU TONIGHT⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “DIAL TONE”)

DEC 2016⠀TRIGGER⠀(FROM SINGLE: “TRIGGER”)

SEPT 2017⠀WANT FROM ME⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “COMPONENT”)

MAY 2018⠀2FACE⠀(FROM FULL ALBUM: “PUZZLE PIECE”)

OCT 2018⠀SOBER THOUGHTS⠀(FROM SINGLE: “SOBER THOUGHTS”)

Stretched so thin you’d think she was a rubber band on the verge of snapping, Sebin treats life like she’s on the run. Constantly moving, always talking, never taking a moment to breathe in fear an idea dissipates or her concentration dissolves. She’s a force of nature when she’s in the zone, but her everyday sunny disposition is one that makes her all too easily likeable. All-around lovely—as long as you don’t get in her way.

Sebin thinks she got all her neuroticism and need for over-perfection from her mother. She hadn’t known much about their state of living as a child, but apparently it meant lots of too-long dinners with other adults she couldn’t remember the name of even if her parents reminded her three times over, wearing clothes that always felt too new to break in, and keeping up appearances at all times. Once she’d grown up, she realised they were just wealthy. Clothing was her father’s business of choice, and she thinks she shares his love for beauty, for seeing visions come to life by their own hands—although for her it channeled in different ways. While he loved intricate stitching and the feel of expensive fabric against his fingers, Sebin was always more enamoured with make-up (although fashion never truly left her heart). The heaps of tubes filled with lipsticks and glosses and mascaras her mother owned (which she helped herself to more than a few times over the years), how one shade could compliment one person and insult another—she felt there was a way to learn it, and she very badly wanted to.

Beauty school felt like her calling, and it only took a little bit of begging for her parents to agree to let her go—with the catch that she’d have to take night classes to get a more standard education alongside it, which she agreed to easily. She enjoyed her time there to the fullest, finally beginning to learn all the ways around the thing she’d been so fascinated with as a child. Of course, she became aware that the standards in Korea weren’t the same everywhere, and so on their yearly summer vacations to whatever foreign country her mother was dying to visit she’d find a way to steal a few afternoons to herself to try and get a few more tips and tricks from people who’d had a completely different perspective on beauty than she had over their years. Broken English and hastily scribbled drawings on the notepad she’d dedicated to carrying around with her was all she could communicate via for the first few years of these trips, but over time she brushed up on a couple languages to have at her disposal also. Sebin was determined to ‘master beauty,’ as she called it, in every way possible. Hairstyles for all types of hair, looks for all types of faces, clothes for every type of body, beauty for every type of person.

Her job at JAGUAR came about due to her want to get out into the real working world, and the idol industry was the best fit for her dream. Her looks on people’s faces? On their bodies as they performed for all their fans to see? She would do anything for it, and when she walked into the interview room she said just that, eagerness spilling out of mouth as she spoke a mile a minute. She jumped for joy (literally) when she was accepted, and threw her all into the job from the first day. Her and Yeseul got along like a house on fire from the first time they met, which was another thing she was over the moon about. Sure, getting to know Insu and Yoonhae was a little hard at first, and she felt a tad intimidated by Joosun, but she soon warmed up to all of them, and they did the same with her in kind. Her and Joosun got particularly close, seeing as they were the only official creative team members at the time—everything else being mostly outsourced—and he’s still one of her closest friends today. While she’d ditched the rather childish dream of ‘mastering beauty’ a while ago, what she gets to do today is everything she’d hoped for and more.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀SON SEBIN  ( 손세빈. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀JULY 8,  1994

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀STYLIST

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀HEO YOUNGJI

Often referred to as Joosun’s female counterpart (if he ever went down the dance route), Miryung—or Vicki, as she uses at work—has quickly become known for her gruelling sessions and little sympathy for stragglers. She’s perfectly pleasant after work hours are over (if a tad standoffish at first), but if the only place you’ve been face-to-face is the studio, then chances are you don’t like her much.

Miryung doesn’t quite know where she got her tough-loving nature from. Her mother and father were as doting as they could afford to be when mostly living paycheck to paycheck in order to support both her and her younger brother, and it wasn’t as if she was put through any particular torment at school. But her brother was bullied quite relentlessly, and so she got used to pulling her hair back and getting sharper acrylics in order for it to hurt more when she went to scratch and kick and belittle the perpetrators right back, so she supposed it may have rooted around that time. Her skin got thicker and her eyes got colder, and in some ways she became a bully right back—but she didn’t let herself think about that too hard. She was just doing the right thing as a sister, even if her acts of violence were sometimes a little too far over the top.

As she grew older, she realised that maybe putting all the pent up anger she seemed to be housing into something else would be better, and that was how she found dance. She found a class, picked it up quick and got better quicker, and by fourteen she was standing in as an assistant instructor for the younger kid’s classes on weekends. That was where the desire to teach came from, too. She saw more and more people like herself over the years, people just looking for an escape or to channel everything negative brewing inside them into something more productive, something better for their peace of mind. Her mean streak calmed down the more and more she threw herself into both performing and teaching every style of dance she could think of, although her no-nonsense way of teaching remained—she found it was just.. Easier to keep it that way. Praise and comfort never fell easy from her mouth, always sounded too stilted to be genuine.

JAGUAR came about when Miryung was looking to expand her teaching abilities at places other than the multiple classes she was now handling as a nineteen year old. She wasn’t about to bite off more than she could chew, so a relatively small scale company was what she was looking for—and found, in JAGUAR. Wrangling trainees into shape was easy after all the practice she’d had, however rude they were to start with. What was first simple instructing soon began to morph into choreographing, and after years of making up routines for her classes to follow along with that didn’t come as any particular hurdle either. She felt like she’d finally found her true calling, something she was born to do. That’s where Vicki came from—victory. She’d won.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀YOON ‘VICKI’ MIRYUNG  ( 윤미령. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀APRIL 30,  1997

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀CHOREOGRAPHER

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀CHOI ‘YUJU’ YUNA

[genopaint]

Week 42 coming right at you!! LOOK OUT!!!!!!! OH MY GOD THEY HAVE THEIR EARBUDS IN THEY CAN'T HEAR US-

As always you can follow me on twitter where they’re posted daily

And read more info on each of them below the cut

Daily Dragon #294 - Golem Dragon

Man made dragons designed to complete particularly difficult tasks like mining or guarding treasures. Just slip a command on a piece of paper in their mouth and watch them work! They're powered by magic crystal held inside the rocks!

Daily Dragon #295 - Dragourd

These small cursed Jack-o'-lanterns are actually tiny fire breathing dragons! People will carve their pumpkins to look like them, but doing this often will attract the real deal! You dont want a crowd of them at your house.

Here's the concept art for this fella! I knew for a bit that I wanted to draw doing something where I use the mouth + eye pieces to make horns. Originally I was gonna do an ogre, but of course... Yknow... Dragons...

Daily Dragon #296 - Feral Gobold

Small and viscous creatures that love biting and scratching anything they come across. Trees and rocks near their nests are often covered in claw and teeth marks from top to bottom!

This is another redraw! Called the "Small Beast" from 2016 at the latest. It wasn't originally a dragon, and frankly idk if it was even a reptile. But it was some sort of Nidorina inspired creature because that Pokemon has one of my favorite small beast designs :)

Daily Dragon #297 - Galathia the Famished One

Galathia appears in the form of a massive dragon, the only vessel that can contain her power we can comprehend. While she's nice, the food she demands can be... drastic. A soul here, an eternity there. Maybe a whole planet?

ANOTHER redraw, this time of this old eldritch horror girl! I tried to make her a little more visually coherent, and while she's maybe a little less bizarre I think she looks a little more clean? Idk. The original is also from 2016 at the latest!

Daily Dragon #298 - Ba'ul

And here's another dragon I knew I wanted to do from the start! I was put off though for a bit because he's a little complicated and hard to find refs for. But ultimately I think he came out fantastic!! Please play Vesperia

I've also done a dragon from some of GOAT JRPG series but hadn't done one from Tales of yet. And I just couldn't let the challenge end without doing at least ONE and there's no one better than my beautiful baby boy Ba'ul

ALSO ALSO I HAVE to give the biggest shoutout to this artist who did an amazing study on Ba'ul's design. It's genuinely the best reference of him online and I could not have drawn this without making heavy use of it!

Daily Dragon #299 - A Dragon

Is something there? Can you see it? Did you lock your door? What was that by the window? Can you see it? It sees you

Just to not keep anyone in suspense, cause I dont think these things work that well with the whole transparency effect. Here he is :) what a lovely smile

I wanted to do this concept for a dragon basically all October but I couldn't make anything I liked that was actually unnerving. I still don't think this dude is that scary lmao. But yes his joints go backwards so he can walk on the ceiling and scare you

Daily Dragon #300 - Gorodin

A massive set of ancient bones that lie dormant in a valley. They become charged with cursed lightning, and start to swim in the sky. As it lets out a horrible cry sounding like a static whale call, it blows towns to cinders with powerful electricity.

And just like the last 2 times, this milestone dragon was made by combining YOUR ideas together! Thank you all so much for giving so many good suggestions on shorter notice than usual! As always I adjusted them a touch to make it all work, but thanks for your ideas regardless!!

And just like before, if I didn't use your idea, I have it written down so I can maybe do something with it later!!

BUT YEAH!! DAY 300!!! WE'RE ALREADY HERE! The end of the Daily Dragon Challenge is coming up quicker than I'm ready to admit!!

There's only 66 dragons left and as we move forward I may start planning them out a little bit. There's still a lot I want to draw, and a lot I know I won't get to in this time frame. But that's okay. It's not like I'll ever stop drawing dragons lol.

Thank you all SO much for your continued support and sticking with this whole big challenge even when I miss like, whole weeks at a time lol. Lets enjoy the rest of the year with lots of cool dragons :)

And of course, here's how it looks powered down!

[ciceroisaware]

yapping abt her

All of the below thought then wrote down within moments to minutes of eachother.. because why not 😭

Omg she's the perfect huggable shape??? I wish I had like.. strawberry something to spray her with.. her head is the perfect shape for me to hug her??? I was upset about something unrelated (also wasnt about the BroilerArctic angst, i rather have to deal with 1 bar 4 gigs of internet past 10 oclock,) and hugged her because why not and her big ass head is the perfect shape to hug???

OMG WAIT WAIT WAITOMGSO HER BANGS ARE KINDA LIKE A POCKET RIGHT CUZ THEY AREN'T ATTACHED IN THE FRONT OMG SCENT PACKET IS GONNA BECOME IRL CANON???

Omg she's gonna change colors so bad 😭 Foxy was red and you can see the color change… but he's also from like 2016 or something so…

I think she smells like polyester..

@aceinacloset how long have you had yours??

Wait wait waitI have some little things of essential oilsI have lavender and something else but I don't Really want to use lavender and the other thing smells tangy(?) Actually that was NOT lavender that was something else.. everything else I have either smells like it's gonna clean out my sinuses or it's not calming :/ one of them smelled minty but I'm not going for minty…

Ugh… I might have something downstairs. Or.. I have scentsy wax I could put on paper or something… but that's not good.. do I have fabric? How will I get it off to apply more? Will it even work? Actually nevermind I don't have scentsy wax. Thanks brain… I prolly wouldn't have anything I'd like to smell but minty 😂😂 uhhh…

Thanks adhd tangent. Thanks. There might be something downstairs... tho I still need a lil bit of fabric cuz I'm not going to apply it to her directly that'd be crazy she just got out of the box like... a couple hours ago

Im built the right way so that hugging her head = top of her head is in my face and I think I just need physical affection or something 😭😭😭😭 bitch what the fuck 😭

Perhaps I just distracted myself with her big ass head 😭

Big head full of evil thoughts

Uh...

I look at her arms and think segmented insect/pos

Shes purple in blue places/neutral

Silly lil mouth/pos

Bangs pockets/neutral+

Shes got fucking big ass calves/I'm crying/pos

I took a picture to compare how dirty Foxy is 😭 I don't think he's ever been washed before, perhaps once?? 😭

Wait actually that's polyester and a lil bit of cardboard/neutral

she is a good size

Carry her like a football

I have coconut dry shampoo.. but am I gonna coconut dry shampoo her?? 🤣

I dunno how long any of the smells will last tho.. I might go check downstairs if it hasn't been cleaned out of scentsy wax.

Omg I found the flavor

Air of adventure if ur curious

I COULD PUT IT IN A SCRAP OF A MASK 🫢 YES

Becuase I do t use masks anymore cuz it's not covid

If I don't like it I can change it.

I forgot about the science experiment in the corner of my room 😭

I can't find the specific mask I'm looking for So uh...

I cannot use paper because paper is crackly and not the right texture :|

this will do.

all of this for what? A thought? Adhd go brr.

Scentsy bar is sweating cuz it's old so yeah just rub the fabric on the wax so a lil bit will go on the fabric and then I can shove it in her hairline... (😭)

Still smells like polyester mostly bit I can smell the wax so that's good uhmm.. it worked 👍

:) thanks for reading me yapping 😭

Edit : I'll post pictures in the morning cuz tumblrs being weird (I have 1 bar 4g)

I wonder what she's listening to (I thought it would've been funny to put my headphones on her)

MY MOM THINKS SHES CREEPY 😭 LMFAOO

[robinfae]

Art of Robin Fae

Hello and welcome! Feel free to call me Robin or Fae (they/she). I'm a freelance comic artist and illustrator. A lot of my work is based on my own original work, though you may find a surprise bit of fan art here!

Below the cut will detail the different comics I'm currently working on along with how you can support me and my work. This will be updated as time goes on!

~COMICS~

SAY SOMETHING

This story follows Buddy, a teen burdened by a Demon. This Demon bursts from their mouth and eats whoever Buddy happens to talk to. Buddy tries to live an average life, but it’s difficult when such a dangerous presence threatens those you love.

Originally created as an 8-page mini-comic back in 2014, SAY SOMETHING evolved into something far greater and debuted as a long-form webcomic on May 7, 2016.

Content Warnings: Blood, death, language, transphobia, self-harm

Current status: ONGOING - Updates bimonthly on Saturdays

Website: SAY SOMETHING

Mirrored on: Comic Fury ; Global Comix

Fox's Wedding

Lily is a human that is secretly taking magic lessons from Refure, a fox fae who mingles with humans, as reckless as that may be. Learning magic has proven difficult, causing Lily to lash out in frustration. With these two’s relationship strained, can they repair what is now lost?

A graphic novel inspired by the weather phenomena: the sunshower. There are many sayings throughout the world that say, "when rain falls while the sun is shining, the foxes are getting married." My goal is to have this finished by the end of 2025.

Content Warnings: Slight nudity, alcohol consumption

Current Status: NOT YET PUBLISHED - Finishing the pages (13/54)

Gale Force

Life as a mage is fraught with peril. As such, Ray decided long ago that hiding her magic power was a far safer option. Her plans to stay in hiding change, however, when a magical creature forces its way into her life.

A multi-chapter comic with concept work dating back to 2011. This adventure fantasy story takes inspiration from real world magic along with the series' "The Ancient Magus' Bride," by Kore Yamazaki and "Witch Hat Atelier," by Kamome Shirahama.

While a few pages have been finished, I'm focusing on finishing the script before continuing page work.

Content Warnings: TBA

Current Status: NOT YET PUBLISHED - Scripting (Currently on Chapter 5)

How to support me

You can support me directly by tipping me on my Ko-fi or by becoming a Ko-fi member! Memberships start as low as $3 a month and with that you can see early high resolution pages of SAY SOMETHING.

Should my current Ko-fi goal be met, members can see in-progress work of whatever I happen to be working on. That could be anything from scripting to comic pages or illustrations!

To my Ko-fi: (x)

~Commissions~

There's a very good chance that I'm taking commissions! If you'd like your OC, pet, favorite character, or anything (within reason) drawn by me, check out my commission page.

Please sure to read the ToS, too: (x)

~Twitch~

On occasion I will stream on Twitch! Right now my set-up can only handle games, but I'm hoping to be able to stream art in the future.

To my Twitch: (x)

~Youtube~

I'm uploading sped up recordings of my art, which include illustrations and sometimes comic pages. My Twitch VODs will also be uploaded there, so if you miss a stream there's no need to worry! It'll be here.

To my Youtube: (x)

~Other Socials~

Tumblr isn't the only place you can find me! I have a central hub where you can see a handful of my most recent work that also includes links to my various socials.

To the hub: (x)

Thank you for reading this far! Have a good one!

[paranasloc]

Small rant about the Olympics specifically table tennis in the Olympics below please skip if not interested

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I very seldom post about sports on here but I simply wish to express myself right now. I’ve been a casual table tennis fan since 2017 maybe, earliest 2016, because I remember the first ever table tennis video I watched and the match happened in 2015. Anyway I’m not anything close to being a pro like I don’t even play at all and actually I would say I know very little about how the game works, because again the keyword here is casual, like very very casual. I just like to watch it for fun, I’ve never taken the time to learn about it. But this has never stopped me from getting excited over the matches. Stupidity runs deep in me and a lot of what I’m about to say probably won’t make sense and there might even be a bit of misinformation not to mention I’m a bit sleep deprived so feel free to SKIP please, this is just me feeling things

I really think they should’ve sent ma long for men’s singles. I’m not very familiar with wang chuqin’s play but at least from what I’ve seen, I don’t think he’s the better player. I don’t have any kind of evidence to provide in objective terms, this is just me basing it off of my own intuition and the clips that I’ve seen from the two of them. Ma long strikes me as being much more stable, and obviously much more experienced. He has been playing for much longer after all and his track record is no joke. My brother who plays table tennis agreed that losing your main racket will surely affect your play, but regardless, I feel like if it had been ma long in that position he still would’ve won. Maybe getting his main racket broken affected him mentally too. But again, regardless of this, that’s your job as an athlete. You should be able to prepare yourself physically and mentally. Also, back in Beijing 2008 something similar happened to zhang yining and she still won gold, with her opponent being very tough as well, so. Probably not a very good excuse. But congratulations to him still for winning mixed doubles, and kudos for denying that excuse too in his interview.

On the other hand something made me a bit emotional during fan zhendong vs harimoto. From what I can remember harimoto’s parents are quite soft spoken people, but during the match I saw at one point his dad shouted with his hands on either side of his mouth in order to cheer for him, and then somewhere towards the end of the match his dad was doing something with his hands, like offering a bit of coaching or support, I actually don’t know what he was doing at the time but he seemed truly excited and proud, and that was quite moving for me. World championships are held every two years and world cups every year, but the Olympics only every four years and for a parent, to be able to watch their child not only participate in it but also go above and beyond in performance, it must be an indescribable experience. Even the rest of the Japanese team were cheering for him so passionately. It’s just like how the father of the 58 year old Zeng zhiying stayed up all night just to watch her match. I felt emotional too when she talked about how her 92 year old father watched her compete, with the Olympic dream having been in their hearts for decades. What an inspiration. Anyway regardless of the results I think the majority of people would probably agree that fan zhendong vs harimoto should’ve been and was pretty much the finals. It was very intense for both sides, one being that harimoto and his family have always been branded by some people as traitors because of their immigrant status and again because of the same status it probably isn’t a reach to say as a bit of an alien for some Japanese people. So the Olympics gold is a huge, huge deal for him and his family because it’s a way to even further “show” their loyalty I suppose, but also to prove to the ones that call them traitors that they are at least better off now than they were before. On the other side we have fan zhendong who ABSOLUTELY CANNOT lose, because he’s the only one left in the running for gold in his team. To have wang chuqin get dropped so early and then in the next moment have to prepare to meet harimoto must have been wild. The pressure must have been extreme, probably almost tangible even. I know he’s an incredibly skilled and accomplished athlete but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Nevertheless it was an amazing match. I think harimoto might have choked towards the end, because in the sixth set with him having won three sets already he lost, and then in the last set he was up by 1 point 7-6 and lost five points in a row and so ultimately lost the match. The both of them are beasts though and arguably the best male players in singles. I’m happy that fan zhendong won, because after that he won 4-0 over Felix and now he’s off to the finals to face truls who won over wang chuqin. I’m not familiar with truls’ play, but we are talking about fan zhendong here. And just for the sake of getting a bit of reference I looked up his match against fan zhendong back in the 2021 world championships and he lost 4-0 so, even if he really has had some kind of power up or whatever, I’m still not too worried. Mainly I’ve read his recent statements/interviews and he seems a bit arrogant if I’m being completely honest, so I personally would find it satisfying to see him be humbled in the finals. Also, I’m not familiar with Hugo calderano’s play either, but I saw he lost the first set against truls even though he was up by 6 points 10-4, and I agree he probably choked. Not to discredit truls, he’s obviously playing at a high level as well or he wouldn’t have been selected for singles to represent Sweden, but choking is real. Calderano lost to himself, and truls arguably also had the better coach. Speaking of coaches, I was also surprised that they sent a Chinese coach to accompany harimoto. This is the Olympics, and they’re representing Japan. Given the history between the two countries it’s probably a bit of a sensitive situation, to say the least.

I haven’t had the time to check out the women’s yet but I will soon enough. Also I don’t know if I’m just biased but I didn’t think they’d send miu hirano for singles. For some time now I’ve always been under the impression that mima ito and even harimoto miwa are better than her. Again, casual fan here. I can’t emphasize this enough. I probably just haven’t seen enough of their matches. I’m excited for the teams events though.

[blorbocedes]

so i'm not 100% up on the nico lore and i keep seeing posts on my dash about how he nearly ruined his marriage to beat lewis and like, didn't even sleep in the same bed as his wife???? is any of that true? cos most of the stuff i've seen with his wife makes them seem like a really solid couple so... idk what to think

alright hello anon!!! for this one I got help from a fellow nicologist: @colors-of-feeling

the tldr of it is: nope, vivian was always incredibly supportive of nico racing, and when nico undertook the intense routines he did in 2016; she helped making sure he didn't have to focus on anything except racing, and there's even a story of their baby then 1.5 years old crawling into nico's office and instinctively putting her hand over her mouth to shush herself "cause you don't disturb daddy while he's working" 🥺😔 ultimately, nico found what he did in 2016 unsustainable and missing out on his family + kid's developments stages.

blonde4blonde. I just thought they looked incredibly hot here. @colors-of-feeling extended answer below:

and okay so there are articles of him not sleeping in the same bed as vivian (i think it may be from his beyond the grid but im not positive) and like most of that was beacuse he was working with a sleep doctor on jetlag and was waking up at and going to bed at crazy hours.. like running around monaco at 3am to change his body over to a new time zone

and also vivian had all the baby duties for the entire year. nico has said and i explicitly remember that he didnt do a single diaper change because he was just focused on recovery when he was home

BUT in NO WAY did he almost ruin his marraige. nico has said multiple times that vivian was completely on board with their plan for 2016 and that he could not have done it without her love and support and that she was his rock through the entire thing. Like they are (and in 2016 were) a very strong couple and she knew what racing means to him and was willing to help him achieve his dream

more tidbits:::: he also said that she didn't even know about his plan to retire until the saturday before the race and so one could assume that it wasn't like an ultimatum or anything for her either,,, it was just their plan to try and get nico to win and she fully supported that (or so nico has said)

she even got louis vuittons in his turquoise color to wear for his championship win and was there for as many races as she could be (idk if she went to all of them)...

like to this day, the only pictures nico has behind him when hes using his sim racing set is a picture of her and him getting sprayed with champagne after his wdc win and then another similar one in his office.. like she (and the girls) are his entire life

ALSO to correct another narrative i've seen thats connected to this... everyone being like 'why is he commentating for sky if he says he loves his family' when NICO HIMSELF has said that he loves to do it and has 100% complete control over his schedule and which races he goes to and therefore can plan his work around his family rather than the other way around (that's why he's only commentating 5 or so races on location 😔)

vivian was also pregnant and gave birth in 2017, so that beats the "nico gave up sex" theory, also I personally find born again virgin world champion very funny

[nialls-gorgeous-colors]

Shawn and Niall's public dating history doesn't match the themes and narratives of their songwriting

Mannn… if you actually take the time to look at Shawn’s and Niall’s dating history…. Where are these passionate songs coming from if you buy into the general public narrative 😭 Shawn’s literally supposedly dated 2 people 😭

And it didn’t start until 2017 😭 which albums are typically written A YEAR AT LEAST before they are released. Shawn Mendes Self Titled was released on May 25, 2018. Illuminate was released on April 20, 2017.

And then he’s singing about hoping someone will be by his side and being with someone ���who cares if they approve”…. The media and fans were wanting him and C to get together… where are these obstacles of being together 😭

Niall’s dating history is so weird, like, don’t even get me started. It’s so full of PR and short bursts of being with someone?? Women who have even issued statements and denied when asked that they were anything romantic??? Where are all of these passionate songs coming from?? Who is he showing up at their door soaking wet? Where are these obstacles??? Wedding song???

Why is he needing to tell someone there’s “no judgement” (it’s romantic with a “mate and… you know”. No, it’s not about Harry please stop?) when they’re together??? Who is he missing so much he needs a “new angel”?? This Town: Who is he saying “if the whole world was watching I’d still dance with you” about”?? Why wouldn’t anyone he’s been with be accepted???

There’s so much that begs to be said about all of this. Shawn invalidating his whole discography (saying it’s all about Camila???) in his documentary still makes me so incredibly sad. That doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t all line up, nor do the themes match up with his life history with her. Please 😭

Make it make sense. 🤨😭 whomever made him say that had no idea what they were doing. They expected the fans to just blindly accept what came out of his mouth.

I have talked with his fans who believe that he was writing so many songs about her… and to believe it, you have to think that he’s just sitting on the sidelines for years just pining away for her while she’s with other guys??? That doesn’t even match with his songs???

I know I’m going back and forth between the two but there’s so much of Niall’s that don’t make sense either. It starts with Barbara Palvin, who was starting out her modeling career who was connected with Niall in 2013-2014. If you don’t think he stunted, then what’s this?

Amelia Lily (yup another Amelia) 2011-2012. There’s later an article about her DENYING anything went on and that she was actually dating an electrician dude.

He was connected briefly with Ellie Goulding who would greatly benefit from the clout boost in Aug-Sept 2013. Meh. Standard music industry stuff.

Melissa Whitelaw, an Australian student, Feb-June 2015 so says a DM article. There’s papwalks complete with the weird backseat photos. Her looking out the window while Niall is awkwardly trying to cope with what he’s being subjected to, see below.

And there’s Celine Helene Vandycke, yet another student. This time she’s Belgian. They show up at events with his arm around her shoulders. They’re only together about a month or two in 2016. Again, here’s the customary car backseat photo published in DM.

And then there Hailee Steinfeld, in 2017-2018. Niall never confirms it but there’s really awkward (while walking across the street?? Like??? Wtf???) kissing pics that exist. She wears his merch. She shows up to a m&g during his tour. They “breakup” then the narrative is she released a song called “Wrong Direction” but denies it’s about him. (Great PR move, Hailee.)

Then it brings us to Amelia Woolley, pandemic lockdown lady. Met in Apr 2020, UK lockdown started in Mar. Dramatic story how they met in tabloids. Niall tore her away from her electrician boyfriend. They now do papwalks and she shows up at golf and events. Everyone forgets about her.

So….. I repeat…. where’s the kind of longterm love along the ways that’s sparked their work and matches the themes of their songs??? Please let me know if you find it???

And yes I know there’s some typos, the timeline also isn’t exact. But that’s the thing about these “relationships” that are arranged. Dates are messy because no one actually knows them. 😂

[moodycarcass]

Tagged by @dexaroth for lil tag game. of which i am not immune to.

🔺 Favorite Color:

Full saturation red, Lime green, Black, & Steel blue/gray

🔺 Last song played:

Spring is coming with a strawberry in the mouth by Caroline polachek. i also rlly enjoy the song coma by her

🔺Currently reading:

The dead zone by stephen king, i picked it out of my book stash when the power went out from like. 8pm to 2am, very little into it and i misplaced it somewhere but i have liked what i've read so far.

continued below

the last thing i read before it was The Resurrectionist: The Lost Work of Dr. Spencer Black which is a faux biography / speculative biology anatomical artbook i got for christmas or my birthday back in like 2015/2016 and mainly used to just try and copy the illustrations, it was a short read and the story was ok, the concept of a victorian doctor ruining his entire life because he sees a freakshow rogue taxidermy of a satyr and immediately develops an ideology around human beings actually evolving from these mythical creatures and that you can reverse engineer them by sewing animal parts onto people is kinda funny ngl.

🔺Currently craving:

it was chocolate cake n already made some earlier tonight. and now i have absolutely no desire to touch the rest of the entire cake i made bc i dont actually like chocolate that much u_u

🔺 Coffee or tea:

coffee. i drink like 2 cups of it a day just bc i think its tasty. i was however, still raised in the south and am hopeless dependent on iced sweet tea ESPECIALLY if it has shitloads on lemon in it.

🔺 Favorite animal:

Pigs/boars, alligators, domestic cats, hamsters, most ungulates, flamingos, slugs & snails, ect

🔺 Favorite time of day:

early early morning right as the sun rises. i have crippling life long insomnia and the day break has always felt like a release from the tossing and turning and sleep deprivation induced self hatred.

i am still a volatile murderous cunt if im woken up before i choose to get up tho.

🔺 Favorite cloud pattern:

Stratus :)

🔺 Last dumb mistake in a game:

from like early july but i fucked around cleaning the base too long in voices of the void and had to complete my hash code run at night and a fossilhound spawned in front of xray and i straight up ran that damn thing over with the atv because it tanked my frames and got beaten to death before alt + f4ing out of fear

🔺 One cool thing that happened this week:

mm. idk havent had much happen this week. ive made some good as food lately. namely salmon cakes and crab rangoon if that counts

tagging: ??? idk anyone who wants to do this. i think krem is back on here for a minute?? snom and lex also if either of you read this

[maybeanartist02]

when the walls come down

crossposted to ao3 here

a fic wherein i explore the possibility of anne reminiscing on baxter during a baking-sleepover her twin organized. jamie notices her distance, and prompts her to open up.

----------

"You're making a face like you're on the other side of the country," he says, making her glance over at him. She doesn't flinch, but she relaxes when she sees him. He can't trust that it's true relaxation.

"I might be," she shrugs, looking back out at the scenery below them. She sits on the cold floor of the balcony as he settles in the nearby chair. "Don't they say that a part of you always remains in your hometown?"

Jamie doesn't say anything to that. "You seem distracted." Anne's smile falls, and she doesn't answer immediately.

"It's... nothing. Just, bringing up some memories I'd rather forget." She scoffs, "as if it was easy."

Jamie frowns.

"That seems unlike you."

"What does?"

 "Wanting to forget."

He knows she takes pictures to remember the fun times she’s had, so really. It does seem out of character for her. She frowns, and he can tell she's struggling now. He had an inkling, but... well, if it were him, he'd not care to talk about it. But... Anne isn't him, and he knows she likes to talk.

"If you need an ear, I'm here," he says, and watches as surprise takes her face, and she lets out a shuddering breath. Then she laughs, rolling her eyes.

"No, you're not. It's too long a story."

"We have time," he shrugs. "I've nowhere to be."

He waits until she turns to look at him, looking half heartbroken, half hopeful. He offers a smile he hopes is encouraging.

"Speak your mind," he says. "I'll listen."

He can see the moment she's thinking of ways to deflect, watches her bite her lip with a sideways glance.

"It's messy," she shakes her head, "not the kind of happy hopeful bed time story anyone would want to hear."

"Please do not assume things of me," he says teasingly. She blinks, then pouts at him.

"You're making fun of me."

"Merely of your inability to be truly honest," he shrugs. "For all your openness, you do rarely speak of your own feelings."

She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. She sighs, and he sees the moment she considers giving in. She glares at the horizon, and when she speaks, it's more to the scenery than to him.

"In 2016, the summer before I came to Wryn-Mayer... I met a guy." Jamie stays quiet, scared of frightening her into downplaying again. If Reynah described him as a bunny, he'd describe her as a butterfly or doe--prone to flight. "Well, first you should know... I grew up in this touristy little town in Socal. The kind of town you could see the entirety of within half an hour. That summer... someone rented the condo next to Cove's. He was weird. Dressed in entirely black and white, a ballroom dancer, a year older than the three of us. And... apparently, we'd met him before, at a Soiree at a country club my moms took us to in like 2011."

 She laughed bitterly.

 "We... became close for the summer. We did a lot together. A lot of things I can't do alone anymore, or I'll just be thinking of him the whole time. But... midway through the season was Randy's birthday--she's like. Quinn's friend, so mine by extension. But... her best friend at the time was Terry--they're dating now--but he wanted to plan her birthday, and it be a surprise, so he'd left organizing the thing to the day before. The guy, the black and white one, Baxter, helped us plan it all last minute, and I'd offered to bake the cupcakes for it. Baxter offered to help, despite never having cooked, not to mention baked, anything before."

Her fingers curled to fists and she frowned.

"We... were close, already. I knew so much about him, and he knew so much about me. While baking, we had to wait for them to cool. We... he offered me some champagne, and I had some and. And..."

 Her voice was flat, heartbreakingly so.

 "I kissed him." Jamie's eyes widened a fraction. Anne continued.

"We kissed. And then the next day, he acted like it hadn't happened. He spent the next four weeks acting like it didn't. But we kept flirting, and dancing around each other--we went to the ORCA charity ball together, and he acted like it was fucking friendship."

As she spoke, tears sprang to her eyes.

"And I don't care that it was friendship! I just wanted him to tell me! So I wouldn't have spent that whole summer thinking he'd end it by asking me out! And I wish he would've left without telling me he never wanted to see me again!"

Jamie felt a sudden striking shock--who the hell wouldn't want to see her again? It felt impossible, immoral, even.

Anne forced a watery laugh, wiping her eyes. "S-Sorry, I'm... I know you don't care for romance stories."

He frowned.

 "Your lived experience is not a story."

She froze, like a deer in headlights.

 "It’s true I cannot relate to stories of this kind," Jamie said sternly, "but you are my friend. If speaking it out is what you need, I can at the very least listen."

For a moment, all he can hear is the wind picking up. All he can see is Anne's shocked gaze, her hair in its braid caught in the breeze. And then she sobs, slaps a hand over her mouth and the tears begin to fall in earnest.

 He lowers to his knees and gently, softly, rubs her back.

"I--I just want--that summer back--" she sobbed, and his heart broke. "I don't want to hate bowling, or boardwalks, or the ORCA party, or log cabins and long hikes, I just want--I want to be over this."

Jamie had nothing to say--no advice to give, no solution. It annoyed him, that he couldn't solve the problem, couldn't ease the ache on her heart. All he could do in that moment, was be there. To him, it didn't feel like enough, and he found himself wishing it was Elio or Percy here in his stead--they were better at this than him.

But to Anne, all she needed was someone who cared to notice the ache. All she wanted was him.

[zombolouge]

Just stating for posterity reasons that I started posting The Traveler in 2016 (reuploaded when complete in 2022). The snippet below highlighted for no particular reason. ;)

“Where is this place?” the girl was looking at the cookies with equal parts trepidation and hunger. He picked up the plate and handed it to her as he spoke. “It is technically another location in the fade, though you would not be able to access it by normal means. Are you familiar with the eluvians?” she shook her head, crumbs lining her lips as she listened intently. He sighed, disappointed in spite of his more realistic expectations. “No, I suppose you would not have heard of them in your time, nor your culture. You can think of an eluvian as a doorway, a portal into a land which the elves of old had used to get from one place to another. These roads were far shorter than those on land, and so it allowed them to move freely across the world, sometimes in the blink of an eye.” “That’s amazing.” She picked up a cup of tea, sipping it gingerly to avoid burning her sugar-coated tongue. “Indeed, it was.” Memories clawed at the back of his eyelids, but he pushed them down, ignoring the clamor in favor of the numb fortitude that the present provided. “This eluvian is unique, however. The eluvians that the elves used for travel were all physical objects. This one is not. It exists solely in the fade, and it serves to transport me any place - and any time - that I wish to travel within it.” “Can you not do this without the eluvian?” the word sounded strange on her tongue, the vowels dragged out farther than they should have been, but he was still impressed with her pronunciation. “A good question. While it is true that, theoretically, one can travel anywhere within the fade, it is often not so simple as thinking it and then making it so. Most have found that in order to see a place in the fade, they must have seen it physically first. There are exceptions to this rule, obviously, as you have found your way to a village in Ferelden, and I would assume you have not been there in the flesh.” She shook her head again, validating his assumption. “It takes a great deal of effort to go where you have not been, but with this eluvian, it takes only enough concentration to imagine it.” She walked up to the surface of the mirror, touching an hourglass as though afraid she would break it. “Uthvir.” She drew out the ‘U’ sound, and her mouth curved heavily around the ‘R’, but he was again impressed that she could read it. “It means ‘the endless way’.” “It is a good name.”

[askthetraversers]

Main Character Mega-Post!

Official character sketches can be found here. This will be added onto as our incredible circus grows and changes. Information on our performers is below the cut!

Kai-Ming Dong (she/they) — Ringmaster, co-animal trainer 

Year: 1935

Age: 24

Used to be a contortionist as well, but lost right leg just below the knee in an accident with an elephant

Kai-Ming means “open-minded”, Dong means “mentor” (both names of Chinese origin)

John “Johnny” Rutherford (he/him) — Co-animal trainer, head lasso performer, Ringmaster’s assistant

Year: 1859

Age: 27

Runaway slave from a plantation in southern Alabama

John means “graced by God” (Hebrew origin)

The origin of the Rutherford name is thought to have been the Old English "rother" meaning “cattle” and "ford", “a river crossing.” (wikipedia.com)

Odette de Muter (she/her) — Head Shapeshifter

Year: 1791

Age: 18

Former French aristocrat; Ex-ballet dancer who somehow got cursed or smth with shapeshifting powers. No one’s really sure, not even Odette herself.

Odette means “wealthy” (also inspired by Swan Lake), de Muter is the infinitive “to mutate” (both names of French origin).

Buster Reuter (he/it) — Head Ventriloquist

Year: 1952

Age: 15

Identifies (tells everyone) as British, but is half-German and has gotten a lot of crap for it

Buster isn’t his real name (no one knows his real name), but it means “full of wisecracks” (English origin); Reuter is a German surname meaning “highwayman” or “thief”.

Katherine “Kit” (she/it) and Maxine “Max” (she/they) Chatterton — Head clowns/trampoliners

Year: 1922

Ages: 21 and 22

Not legally married (was illegal at the time), but have matching promise rings

Max is a Pierrot; Kit is a stereotypical, colorful clown; Sunshine + Grumpy trope because I can

Katherine means “pure” (Greek origin); Maxine means “greatest” (Latin/Scottish origin)

Chatterton — English: habitational name from Chadderton in Lancashire which is early recorded the form Chaterton possibly from a Celtic hill name Cadeir (from cadeir ‘chair’) + Old English tūn ‘settlement’. (ancestry.com)

Yesenia Kanaan (she/they) — Head tightrope walker

Year: 2019

Age: 22

Beaten by .01 point in the tryouts for Women’s Gymnastics in the 2016 Olympic Trials; disappeared three years later 

Yesenia means “flower”; Kanaan means “beauty” (both names of Arabic origin)

Ernest “Ernie” Aldritch (he/they/it) — Head Contortionist

Year: 1896

Age: 14

Newsboy from Lower Manhattan who performed part-time at local theatres and bowery shows

Ernest means “vigor” (German origin); Aldritch means “wise” (Old English origin)

Denise “Deni” Campbell (they/them) — Head Puppeteer

Year: 1968

Age: 17

NONBINARY REP MY BELOVED! Also somehow related to Jim Henson because I say so

Denise is a feminine name with both French and Greek origins. A feminine version of Dennis, this name translates to “follower of Dionysius.” In Greek mythology, Dionysus, aka Bacchus, is known as the god of wine, fruit, and vegetation. (thebump.com)

The name Campbell is primarily a gender-neutral name of Scottish origin that means Beautiful Field. From the Latin De Bello Campo meaning "from the beautiful field." Could also be from a Scottish/Gaelic nickname (cam béul) meaning "crooked or sassy mouth." (babynames.com)